The United Cantons of Northen Luxembourg is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by General Johan R Rutherford with an iron fist, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, keen interest in outer space, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 6.375 billion Northern Luxembourgians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gaullegrad. The average income tax rate is 94.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Northern Luxembourgian economy, worth a remarkable 1,744 trillion Digital Pyks a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 273,671 Digital Pyks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Veterans' meet-ups involve a lot of tail sniffing, squeaky high prepubescent voices recite the patriotic poem "Hail to The Leader!" before each meal, politicians ponder for at least a minute when asked if they would like sugar in their tea, and jailbreaking is the best-selling book category of the year. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Northen Luxembourg's national animal is the Kiwi, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Capitalism.

Northen Luxembourg is ranked 7,735^th in the world and 97^th in The East Pacific for Most Corrupt Governments, with 178.44 kickbacks per hour.